Why is it that personal growth only comes out of your comfort zone, and often by stepping into pain? I guess it really doesn't matter if we like it or not, but that is just how it is, always has been and will always be. So, ultimately it always comes down to a decision, your own decision, that only you can make.
Earlier this month I was assigned the leadership role for a team of our staff to compete with teams led by Jimmy Dulin and Jennie Franklin to see which team will take the most steps with our "Fitbits" each month. My immediate reaction was anything but positive, I am careful not to take on challenges that I know I don't care about the outcome. Further, there was a deep emotional reaction. I had been doing my level best to hide an old high school injury where my hip would fall out of joint that had not been snapping back for the last few years. So I normally try to take a few steps as possible per day because there is a price for each one. So, now all the staff gets to see exactly how many I take per day, this was horrifying to me.
This little device took on the role of the Junior High bully that mocked, made fun of, and exposed my weakness for all to see, I was transported back to 7th grade. As I tried to get past the emotions and find a resolution the first thought was I had to mute this new bully. In seventh grade, it was learning that running from it, or just living with it were not solutions I could live with. Standing up and fighting the seemingly endless stream of the school "hoods" that everyone was afraid of that my antagonist would set up turned the tide. Not hiding, but standing up ended it. So I realized I had to quit hiding my current embarrassment and admit my challenge with my hip and that my daily numbers would reflect it.
The next step was learning a new style of leadership I had never had to do before. I'm a huge believer in that in all things you must have aligned interests to have success. I have always believed in leadership by example, to never ask anyone to do anything I wasn't willing to do and do more of than anyone else. Now I had to find a way to cheer them on, while not really carrying my own weight. I started deep diving into leadership secrets from competitive rowing coxswains, who are doing exactly that. Trying to learn how to find an aligned interest when taking more steps was not my personal goal while wanting to help my team reach their own. This led me to understand that my own interests were to learn a new leadership style, and to gain the freedom of no longer worrying about what other's might think if my infirmity was exposed.
For years I would talk about how you would see a defensive back in football who gets burned on a big play often comes up limping coming back to the huddle. It is known as the "loser's limp" trying to make an excuse for not making the play. I had to learn to lose my own "loser's limp" of hiding my own limp to protect my own ego. This has been a learning experience so far, and has been strangely liberating. Now on to helping my team reach their own individual goals.
Do you have a loser's limp you are hiding that might be holding you back? An imaginary bully whispering in your ear? You can defeat them by taking away the thing they hold over you, for me it was openly admitting it. What will free you?
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