There is one factor, one culprit, that destroys more goals than any other, and it is one that is talked about the least. This one thing can work for you and create a dividend that amplifies and even multiplies your efforts. Or it can create a tax that slows down or even derails your plans. That one factor is TRUST. Most people do not reach their goals because they don't trust themselves. Is that you?
Trust either brings dividends or taxes everything we do, depending upon whether we are in a high trust or low trust environment. Trust actually is five-faceted; you have Self-Trust, Relationship Trust, Organizational Trust, Market Trust and Societal Trust. Each one is important in your business and life. However, today we are going to focus on Self-Trust.
Self-Trust manifests itself in your life every time you set a goal or commitment. You set a goal and your subconscious mind says, "You're a liar, you will not." It has heard too many times before when you set a goal and didn't follow through. It likely is because you didn't really know how to set a goal, so you were just winging it. Then, when things weren’t going well you gave up. Each time, you were conditioning yourself to not believe in you, and that is a tax that impacts everything you do from there. This is ultimately why many of us simply give up on setting goals. Here is a link from an earlier blog post to help you know how to set a goal that you can achieve. How to set effective goals
Self-Trust is an account that you can damage in so many ways, each having a downward impact on how you view yourself. Cheating, stealing, being unfaithful, not following through on commitments, not following through on promises, or deadlines, or goals all create in you a lack of trust or respect for yourself. Where most people miss, the point here is the damage is made worse if you don't get caught. The reality is, you never get away with it. Because you know, and it has a direct impact on how you view yourself.
In my own sales career with thousands of sales transactions there were two that haunted me for years, because I didn't respect my actions in either. In the past, when I’ve told the stories, I have had many people tell me that what I did wasn't wrong, but in my heart it was, so the damage was real.
The first one was in 1982. I was selling Cadillacs at Lockhart Cadillac. At that time, the average commission on a brand new Cadillac there was $200. They had a used Eldorado that had been languishing on the lot for a year and they wanted to move it so they put a minimum commission of $500 on it. Everyone I met got a chance to see it; it was good looking, a deep midnight, metallic blue with white top and leather interior. But, it was one of those early diesels that were unpopular for a good reason. Finally, I had someone who really liked it. While we were looking at it with the hood up, he asked, "Has this ever been wrecked?" I had never been told whether it had been or not, but looking at it with him I saw paint overspray under the hood, which is a clue that it might have been. I simply answered, "Not to my knowledge." Technically, that was accurate, but I had suspicions. To me that was a lie. He bought the car, I felt bad about it for years.
In the second instance, I was selling new homes in Lighthouse Cove in the Geist area. I had just taken the position to see if I could turn the community around. It had been for sale for more than a year without its first sale and we desperately needed to get a new home under construction to start to build momentum. I had a client come in who had just moved to Indy from Connecticut where she had taken a very exciting ride on the inflation train on her condo. She had tripled her money on it. She wanted to pay cash for a new home and she picked one out that was so much larger than her previous condo. She was overwhelmed with what she was going to do with all the space! The garage itself was bigger than her old condo, and this was only going to cost half what she sold the previous condo for? What I beat myself up over was, I knew that if she didn't spend the same or more for another house she would have capital gain tax on her inflation gain. I have no idea if she knew that or not, I simply didn't bring it up. To me, that omission was a lie. Again I beat myself up for years.
If you have things that pull down your self-trust, you can overcome it. You can act your way out of it. When setting goals, set goals that are activity goals that stretch you a bit, but not so far that you won't achieve them. If you are not good at making prospecting calls, I would much rather you set a goal to make one a day and always achieve it, than to set one for 10/day and only reach 5/day. Each day you do what you said you would, you gain respect and trust in yourself. You can always stretch them as you grow. Be very careful about making a promise or a commitment to yourself (or anyone, for that matter). Don't ever make them lightly; only do so if you are absolutely certain that you will make them happen. Don't jump on a bandwagon or join something if you are not personally committed to really making it happen. Don’t set yourself up for withdrawals in your beliefs and confidence.
Take it as baby steps. Keep one commitment at a time. Have a commitment every day or week that you know you can make happen - then make it happen! The perception you have of yourself will soar and then the sky really is the limit to what you can do and believe you can do.
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