When we begin to learn any new skill, we begin by being Unconsciously Incompetent. This is like before you tried to drive, you had ridden with others driving for all your life and it looked easy, you were unconsciously incompetent, you didn't know you didn't know. As soon as you tried to drive and found out it was much harder than you thought, you graduated to Consciously Incompetent, you then knew you didn't know. Very quickly, you started figuring it out and as long as you concentrated on what you were doing you could drive, you were then Consciously Competent. Soon you could drive, mess with the radio, drink a coffee and eat a donut all at the same time and were Unconsciously Competent. We go through all of those phases on every new skill we learn. Far too often once we become Consciously Incompetent, we get frightened that we might look foolish and retreat back to our comfort zones.
Personally, I have my own fear of the unknown to face right now, to overcome my own uncomfortable comfort zone. As I type this I am five days from going into the hospital to have a total hip replacement. I will admit, I have never been so scared in my life. I have never been a patient in a hospital before, I have never been under sedation, most definitely never had anyone cutting on me. Believe it or not, I have grown comfortable with the pain in my hip. I have had it on and off since high school, but pretty much nonstop for the last six years. Until recently, I tried to hide it from everyone. Over this period of time, I have developed a lot of life hacks to make it through my day with very little discomfort by learning how to do things without really bending that hip. Of course, I have had to give up a lot of things I love to do, no more walking trails or exploring woods or forests, no more climbing or horse back riding. Running has been impossible for several years even to avoid oncoming traffic. Then there are the little things like being able to put on a sock without a device or actually tying a shoe. By avoiding the things that hurt it, I can get through my day without much pain, however, once the surgery happens there will be no avoiding it for the next few weeks. I have had to focus on what I want the results to be, even though, I really don't know if they will or not. I have been told the most common thing someone says who has this done is "Why did I wait so long?" I am collecting things I want to do to focus on, like taking my granddaughter walking through parks, climbing hills with her on my shoulders, taking her horseback riding, and being able to go for walks with my Bride once again. Of course there are no promises how anything like this will go, you are acutely aware of that when you sign all the waivers of what "could" happen. But it is the dream of what can be that helps you take the step into the unknown. My goal is to take baby steps, my first two goals are to graduate past using a walker in a week and then graduate from using a cane the second week.
When you look at the tasks of learning the new skills that are in front of you, my best suggestion is to dream of what might be once you have become Consciously Competent and even more so when you reach Unconsciously Competent. The days, weeks, months and years will pass no matter if you use them to reach those dreams or not. My prayer for you is that you choose to live a Glad You Did rather than a Wish I Had life.
Step out, one step at a time.
